Question 

My mother is rapidly approaching the point where she needs care in a nursing home. Her biggest fear is not getting a bath on a daily basis. She is quite adamant about the need to bathe daily. She loves her tub baths. 

So far, every place I contacted gets their residents into a tub about once a week. Not one of them has offered a more frequent bath. I am getting tired of calling around without any success. 

What I want to know is if there are any facilities out there that will give my mother a regular bath, or is the request just out of the question. 

For a little background, mom gets around with a walker. She does not need help getting up other than a hand from time to time. She is a little bit forgetful now, so we think a nursing home is in her future.   

This bathing thing is a real barrier for mom, so I need some advice. 

Answer 

It sounds like you have done quite a bit of research and are getting the same answer from each facility that you contact. I cannot tell you that what you have learned about bathing in a nursing home is false. 

It does not mean that nursing home residents are dirty and never bathed. What usually occurs is some form of bathing each day. It could be a bed bath for a bed-bound patient or a sink bath for someone that is walking.   

Most patients in nursing homes require quite a bit of assistance with activities of daily living, and most of them do not independently walk around. Assisting someone with a tub bath is time consuming affair. Collecting clothing, transferring to a wheelchair, transferring again in the shower/bathroom, filling the tub, supervising the bath, assisting with dressing, transferring back to the wheelchair, returning to the patient's room. This process could require the assistance of two people and/or a lift for each transfer depending on the abilities of the patient. This entire process can easily take an hour. Conversely, washing someone up in their room can take half the time or less.  

Most nursing assistants have a significant list of patients to mobilize each day. They need to clean them up, dress them, assist with feeding, toilet every time they ask or change diapers. It is a taxing and difficult job. They usually can give one tub bath a day if their case load is not too heavy. Having worked as a nursing assistant for years, I can testify that it is the most demanding and physically difficult job that I have ever held. It is generally impossible to tub bathe each patient you have daily.   

Your solution could be to pay for an assistant to come in and assist your mother with a tub bath above what the facility offers. I would check out that concept and find out if it is okay with the facility. You could start with a more aggressive schedule and then pull back when she adapts to the nursing home routine.  

Another option could be to consider independent living but in a retirement complex for the time being, if your mother can live semi-independently. Hire an aide to spend time with her each day helping her bathe and dress. This could be less expensive and meet her desire for bathing. If her memory issue is material, this may be a very short-term solution or not one at all. 

Do know that people in nursing homes are not very mobile and generally can be bathed successfully and easily in their room. It can be quite taxing to go through the process of tub bathing for the patient and the assistant. When the time comes for nursing home care, your mother will get cleaned up each day; it will not be in a tub though unless you bring in extra assistance. I realize that it is not the level of care that you desire. Do a little comparison of nursing homes, assisted living, and home health private duty care. It will give you a broader picture of cost and services which you can lay out for your mother.  

I realize that this transition is not an easy one for you and your mother. I hope that you will find a solution that will satisfy her need for bathing.