Question 

I am in my 80s and a widow. I wonder when the absolute best time is to sell my home and move near my family or to a retirement situation. Right now, I am not planning to move, ever. 

At present I am as content as can be in my beautiful home. My husband and I lived here for 50 years, and it holds all our treasures. I live in a lovely vacation type destination town and the children visit often. I am actually quite happy and not feeling any stress about living here. I have wonderful assistance in managing the yard and cleaning, so I physically am not trying to manage more than I am capable of. 

The reason that I am asking about moving is because people ask me about it with almost every conversation. Some of my neighbors are gone and younger families have moved in. My children bring it up at times, though they do not put any pressure on me. I just would like to hear your thoughts on the matter. 

Answer 

Making the decision to leave your home is all about safety, resources, and support systems. For you to stay in your home, all three of those things need to be in place as you reach those much older years. If you do not plan and heed the signs of your changing situation, what is likely to happen is that you will have some type of crisis and your family will step in and make the decision for you. 

It sounds like you have already done some planning, though I will walk through the three areas you need to plan for. 

Safety 

It is wise to start with safety because a medical problem is the most likely reason that you will be forced to leave the home you love. You should be able to navigate your home from room to room without the assistance of another person. If you are struggling to do that, talk to your doctor and have a physical therapy evaluation. Obtain the necessary tools, such as a cane, walker, or wheelchair so that you are moving safely. If you are grabbing onto furniture and walls to move about, it is past time to seek a safer solution so that you are safe at home. 

Spend a day or more in your kitchen, evaluating and setting it up so that you can safely reach the items you use regularly. If you need a step stool in your kitchen, make sure it has a built-in grab bar. Clear out items that you do not use and simplify. Do this throughout your home so that items are easy to access, and clutter is at a minimum. 

Your main bathroom needs to have grab bars. Your shower needs a seat. Ideally, you can walk into the shower without stepping over a tub wall.  

If you have stairs to your bedroom or laundry, consider what you will do when you can no longer climb stairs. That reality happens to almost everyone at some point. 

Make sure you have security lighting inside and outside so that you are moving about with adequate lighting at all times. Motion sensing lighting is very useful on stairs, hallways, and entryways. Since you live alone, consider how secure your home is. Do adjustments need to be made. 

Consider an alert bracelet so that you can reach someone if you experience an incident without scrambling to find the phone. 

Realistically evaluate your health situation and the likelihood of your being able to navigate independently for the next ten years.  

If these items are too much to contemplate and set up, it is time to start thinking about a different living situation. 

Resources 

It is important to realistically evaluate your financial resources to manage your home with you staying in it. While you are independent, the cost of living in a home that is paid for may be reasonable. You already have yard and cleaning assistance, so you are well aware of that cost.  Next, consider the cost of in-home care. While you do not need it now, you may at some point. Calculate that cost and determine if 24-hour care in your home is within your budget should you need it. Also, determine if you live in an area where it is easy to obtain that type of care. 

Technically, you can stay in your home your entire life, if you have financial resources to do so. Without the financial resources to hire in home care or committed children, it would be wise to establish a plan while you are healthy and able. 

Support Systems 

You do need to establish a support system to carry out your wishes. If you get to the point of needing assistance to manage your home, someone needs to do that.  Many individuals have children who step in and help to manage the household, pay the bills, obtain groceries, and provide transportation. At some point in your lifetime, you will require help with managing your day to day. It is necessary to have that support system for when it becomes a necessity.  

To answer your question about when you should move, the answer is now, if you cannot establish a safe home environment, your resources are inadequate, or you lack any type of support system. Without these things in place, the first health crisis you have could force an abrupt relocation.  

If you have the systems set up that make it safe to live in your home with a network of support systems and the financial resources to bring in any service you desire, you can simply stay in your home, moving only if it suits you.  

There is no perfect time to move, though you would want to do it while you can make all the decisions, unless you have a trusted individual who will carry out your wishes should you be unable to do so.  

When to make a change is different for each person and situation. Do some planning and live your life on your terms.