Question 

My mother saw her doctor last week for a problem she is having and cannot tell me what the doctor’s recommendations were. Apparently, mom is having trouble understanding her foreign-born doctor. She left her appointment without really knowing what the doctor said. 

I think that mom is a bit intimidated by the doctor’s expertise. She does not ask clarifying questions during her appointments, even though she might not understand what the doctor says if she did ask. 

Mom is in her 70s and definitely not in need of assistance. She is just not getting the best healthcare because she cannot understand her doctor. Is there a way to help her without being a pushy daughter? 

Answer 

Your mother had an experience that is an opportunity for the two of you to have a conversation about how you can get the most out of your health care and to do a little future planning at the same time. Additionally, you may need to be just a bit assertive on this topic. 

We have all had the experience of having a conversation with a professional in a field different from our own that we do not understand. Throw in a language barrier and we leave that meeting completely lost. Now add to the medical terminology challenges and the usual anxiety of being in a medical situation. It is no surprise to me that your mother is not really sure what was said. 

There are a number of things you can do to assist your mother. The first one is to ask her if she was issued a written visit summary. It is common now days to send patients home with written recommendations. Next ask your mother to access her online chart. Every office visit will have some sort of report that she can read. If she has not become familiar with her online chart, patiently walk her through how to access it from her computer or phone. I emphasize being patient if this concept is new to her. Accessing health care this way can feel quite strange if you have not done it before. Assure her that she will become comfortable with it if she does it after each visit. 

Your mother will find that her doctor’s written English will be much easier to read even if she does not know all the medical terms. Suggest that your mother ask a question through her electronic chart and show her how simple it is to do so. Practice these computer skills with her until they become routine for her. 

On the subject of a foreign-born doctor speaking English that you cannot understand, mom simply may need to tell the doctor that she is having trouble understanding what the doctor is saying and ask if a nurse could repeat what the doctor said. Even better would be for you to accompany your mother on her next visit. 

We all do better with an advocate helping us get the most out of our health care visits. Providers give instructions rapidly. While what they are saying is routine for them, we as patients probably internalize only a certain percent of what they say. It would be so helpful for someone to be with us to make sure that our questions are answered and to ask a few on our behalf. 

Your mother will have ongoing health care visits and needs. Talk with her about managing so that she gets the best health care possible. People that have someone advocating for them always get the best health care. It is not being pushy; it is just smart. Hopefully your mother will see it that way also.