Mom and Electronics
Question
My mother calls me quite frequently with how to questions about her phone, the internet, or any electronic device she has.
Mom also saves up all sorts of questions for me about these things when I stop over that she wants me to resolve. She gives up quite easily and knows that I can quickly solve her problem.
I do not think that mom even tries to figure out anything electronic.
Mom is 70, am I expecting too much from my mother to solve these issues on her own?
Answer
Your mother is allowing technology to hold her back, though she wants use of it if you figure it out for her.
Mom clearly sees that new electronic tools are nice to use. What she is not doing is to put the time in to figure out how they work. Assuming that she has all of her cognitive skills intact, it is a matter of powering her way through like the rest of us do.
You have built up electronic skills by doing. You explore, research for solutions when stuck, and persist until you figure out how a device works. Mom just hands it over to you and you do the setup for her.
The only way for her to develop some independence is for her to learn how. Trial and error are the ways for her to do this. You built your knowledge over years, and she needs to do the same. Show her how to search online for a solution when stuck.
Start with the simplest thing that stumps her. Stop taking her phone, flipping through screens, and doing the setup for her. The next time she needs assist, have her man, or woman, the device. Point her in a direction, but do not solve. Think like a teacher. Understand that struggle is important, though you do not want too much. You want her to have some successes. It will give her more confidence to solve problems the next time.
It is important for her to become empowered when it comes to figuring out how electronics work, as her future will have more new devices that she will need to manage. Her struggle will get worse and her more dependent if she does not begin to figure out the tools available to her.
Let your mother know that each time you connect you are going to teach her one more new skill to manage her electronic life. Then when you are together, practice with her. Have her research and solve a simple problem with an online search. She will gain independence and confidence with some small successes. Stay the course and gently nudge her into the electronic age. You will be doing her a favor.
About this Post
Posted 09.05.2025