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Caregiving Is Too Much For Me

More and more adult children are finding themselves in the role of caregiverwhile they are still working during the peak of their career. Managing ademanding job, family, and aging parents is very stressful and overwhelming for even the most organized of individuals.

So, what does one do when your help is needed at work, home, or your parents home?

Let's assess the situation.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day and cannot squeeze out more no matter how hard we try.  Choosing not to sleep enough is also avery bad choice.  I recommend that you assess your situation like you are creating a business plan.

Let’s look at a few steps together:
1. Determine What Needs to Be Done

Gather siblings, if you have them, and make a list together of tasks that need to be accomplished.  (Do not make this list out ahead of time as you will be seen as presumptuous).  List what needs to be done by frequency and time-to-completion.  If you skip this step you will wind up doing most everything and resenting your siblings.  Work up the courage and call the meeting.  It will be a disorganized mess otherwise and resentments will develop. 

2. Decide Who Will Do What

When you have the list completed, pass it around and have everyone sign up for an equal share.  Do not own the list, let people choose and write their own names down.  It is more of a commitment that way.  If you are the organizer it will not be easy to do, but remember you are trying to spread the load and avoid resentment at the same time.

3. Communicate the Plan

Share the agreement with your parent(s) and post in a prominent place in their home.  Do not let your parent(s) talk you out of much needed help.  They very well might try to reject it.  Most parents do not want to be a burden on their children.  Do not be surprised if they tell you the list is too comprehensive.  Just do what is right.  Oh, and give all of the siblings a copy

4. Evaluate 

In six months gather the siblings together and review what went well and what requires some adjustment.

You have now spread the work load, minimized resentment, and created a better opportunity for your parent(s) to enjoy the company of all their children while the work gets done.