Question 

I retired ten years ago and find that I rarely wear my jewelry anymore. I do quite a bit of gardening and never wear jewelry while at home. I don’t usually go out, so I have little opportunity to dress up. 

I have two daughters and a son. I am thinking about giving some of my nicer rings and bracelets to my girls. I am fairly sure that my son has no interest in any of my jewelry, though we have never talked about it. 

My question is, should I give it away while I am living? Should it only go to my daughters? Or do I leave it all in my will to be distributed equally, if that is even possible? 

Answer 

Jewelry can be challenging as most of us only have one of each piece. Also, jewelry can vary so much in value from one item to the next.  

From a value perspective, if your jewelry has real gold or silver and your gems have significant worth, it would be wise to distribute them to your children thoughtfully and as evenly as you can. While it is true that men are not likely to wear or desire traditionally female rings, earrings, bracelets, or necklaces, I would be reluctant to assume that your son has no interest. He may have a wife or daughters that are interested. A son may have interest in something else you own of comparable value, if he passes on the jewelry idea. 

What I propose is that you invite the children over individually and ask them to look at your jewelry and list the pieces that might interest them. Don’t worry about overlap for the first round. This will get them thinking about what you have and what might interest them. Jewelry is meant to be worn, so gifting pieces ideally will be to someone that wants and appreciates them. 

On another occasion, maybe months later, bring out their list and ask them to take a second look. By then you will have had a chance to review and determine if there is any overlap in their requests, and they will have time to ponder what you have. There are a variety of ways to solve overlap requests if you have them. You can flip a coin, compare values, or simply decide. Please do your best to distribute fairly from a dollars and cents perspective. If you have valuable pieces, it may be best to obtain appraisals before making decisions. 

Do understand that styles change, and your children may want to redesign some of your pieces so they can enjoy wearing them; versus leaving them in a drawer for the rest of their lives, which often happens. If you are not open to that concept, I would leave the jewelry to be distributed in your will. 

I think that you are wise to think about your jewelry while you are physically and mentally able to make sound decisions. Of course, you can do as you wish with your possessions, my recommendation is that you move carefully and evenly to create no hard feelings.