Question 

My question is, how much of a burden do I put on my children?  

Right now, I manage my investments, my properties, and all my affairs. I am in my late 70s and life is good. My two children do not have to do anything to assist me. I have got it handled.  

I realize that as I get older, my ability to manage like I do today is likely to change. Do I unburden myself from everything that I am handling so the children do not have any responsibility, or do I just let it flow as it is now? It is a bit of a dilemma for me, as all my friends and siblings have moved into retirement living situations. It seems as though I am holding on, though I really like my life right now. 

I would like your opinion on what is the prudent thing to do based on what you have experienced? 

Answer 

The beauty of our society is that you can do whatever you desire; there is no hard fast rule to abide by. What is right for your friends may not be right for you. 

You are experiencing a bit of peer pressure right now, though it is likely unspoken, or not. People that recently moved into a retirement community are likely to sell it a bit. They want to tell you all about the experience, the amenities, and their new freedom. Some of it is real and some of it is rationalization. There is nothing wrong or right with the choices that your friends have made. With any situation there are pros and cons. Hopefully, it was the right choice for them.  

Now about you. If you choose to continue your life as it is, what is important is to have your life in order, “ducks in a row” so to speak. It is wise for anyone, but in your case, it is very important. The last thing you would want to do is leave your children a mess. Now they might deserve it, cleaning up after you, but that is a topic for another day. 

My recommendations are these: 

• Make sure your will is current and has your properties properly listed and accounted for. 

• Keep your properties in excellent condition so they can be easily maintained or sold. I call that “keeping them sell ready”. 

• Keep your password list up-to-date and accessible to a trusted individual  

• Make sure each one of your investment accounts has a beneficiary  

• Make your home as accessible as possible for you as you age. Make any adjustments now if needed. 

• Clean out excess in your home, garage, basement, and attic, so that only things you want to use or pass on remain. 

• Most importantly, discuss your plan with your two children. You are a family and caring for each other is what it is all about. 

I believe that we should all choose the lifestyle that suits us. It will not be the same for everyone. It would be boring if it were. Go out and live your life, just don’t leave a mess in your wake.